Let’s be real here. We all have a natural tendency to compare our successes or our lifestyle to someone else’s. “The comparing monster” has been trending, now more than ever, with social media being shoved in our faces all-day-every-day. What we don’t need in our lives is to feel discouraged, competitive, and sad for no actual reason. We also don’t need other people telling us to “just stop comparing” and move on… I think we need more people to educate us on how to stop comparing, how to let go and let God, and how to move forward rather than letting it slow you down.
In the past year that I have been really building and concentrating on my business, I have also experienced a few similar conversations. I’ve talked with small business owners and found that a lot of their emotions get caught up in comparing to other similar businesses. I’ve heard from some of the most successful and inspiring women and even they get caught up in the ‘comparing world’ from time to time. I’ve also had conversations with friends who are in totally different places in their lives who admitted to comparing their life or career to my own. When I hear something like that, it doesn’t make me feel good, and it just doesn’t make sense. The last thing I want to hear from a friend is that they feel the need to compare their own lives to mine. Why?
Because her success is not meant to be your own. We are all doing life on our own time and in our own way! Whatever God has in store for me, was not meant for you. Whatever God has in store for you, for her, for them, was not meant for me. No one situation is the right way or the wrong way to live life. How can you compare yourself, your success, and your life to someone or something that was not meant to be yours to begin with, and was not on your own time?
Whoever and whatever it is that you feel the need to compare to, it’s time to let that go. It’s time you know how to get past those feelings. It’s time to understand why you should be looking at this as an opportunity to grow and challenge yourself to get exactly where you want to be on your own time.
I want to let you in on a few tips that help me through the struggle of comparing and what allows me to move on in a positive direction.
- Get to the point. Let’s say you come across someone’s instagram and you keep scrolling and scrolling until you just feel bad about yourself. Now get to the root of that feeling and figure out why you’re reacting that way. This forces you point what it is that’s making you compare. Now, what needs to change? Do you need to make a change in yourself and the way you think? Do you need to make a change in your business? Get straight the point, don’t dwell on whatever it is you’re comparing to.
- Take it as a challenge. After you’ve figured out exactly what’s making you feel the need to compare, take it as a challenge to keep moving forward, to make your next big move, and to work harder to get what you want. Make this an opportunity to get yourself into gear, change your mindset, and work towards those goals!
- Let go and let God. Remember, have a little faith. Maybe you just have faith in yourself, or maybe you have faith in yourself and God. Whichever works for you, don’t forget to trust the power of having faith. You have to remember that you have your own path to follow, not anyone else’s. Try to understand that whatever someone else is accomplishing, was not meant for you. Maybe your time will come, or maybe your path will take an unexpected turn. Whatever happens, is exactly what’s meant to happen for your benefit. So cheer that person on, don’t compare or compete, just let go and move on!
- Put it down and get creative. This tip is my favorite way to distract myself and then totally forget I was even feeling the comparison crazies. Stop the scrolling, put down your phone, and get creative! So maybe to you, this means you’re going to put your phone away and go hiking to clear your mind in a peaceful environment! Or maybe this means you need to get creative in your business and start a new project to work towards! I love coming up with new projects to keep me motivated and get my creative juices flowing! This will take your mind off of the comparisons and make you realize there’s no need to feel that way when you are doing things your own way!
- Time to reflect. Whether you enjoy meditating, praying, quiet time, taking a walk, or whatever you enjoy, do this to put your mind at ease and reflect on how far you’ve come. Think about everything you have accomplished by now compared to last year or maybe a few year ago. Reflect, be thankful, and be at peace with your own success and your own lifestyle. We are all blessed. If you make the time to do this, you will remember that comparing does nothing but make us feel discouraged, and there is no need to make ourselves feel that way. This is your life, and it’s time you own it!
Be proud of who you are, have faith in where you’re going, and remember you are loved. I’m rooting for you every step of the way, friends!